


Miss Congeniality

by JenIsWriting



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternative Universe - FBI, F/F, Miss Congeniality, Slow Burn, more tags to come, no beta cause we die like men - with a false sense of confidence and seemingly incorrigible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29800716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenIsWriting/pseuds/JenIsWriting
Summary: FBI Agent Toni Shalifoe has to go undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant to prevent the Dawn of Eve terrorist group from bombing the event.akaA Miss Congeniality / The Wilds crossover with the storyline taken from the movie just with a lot fewer men.
Relationships: Dot Campbell/Fatin Jadmani (mentioned), Regan/Toni Shalifoe (mentioned), Shelby Goodkind & Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 28
Kudos: 142





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a minute since I wrote in general so why not get back into it by merging one of my favorite movies with one of my favorite shows?
> 
> Fun fact, I've watched the movie three times in one evening (for research purposes, obviously) and turns out, I'm still obsessed with Sandra Bullock.

Toni Shalifoe is well aware of her anger issues. And she knows better than anyone just how much they get her into trouble. Coming back to work, mentally preparing herself for the lecture she is bound to get from Miss Taylor-Clayton really is not anything new to Special Agent Shalifoe. But _fuck_ , it has never gotten as far as one of her co-workers getting fucking shot because she failed to follow orders.

Things could be worse, Toni finds out during the morning briefing. The bad guys have been caught by no other than FBI prodigy Regan Shepard and Marcus is going to be out of the hospital in two weeks, with two scars where the bullet entered and left his body. Toni lets out a sigh of relief, now knowing that he will be okay, but the stern look Taylor-Clayton throws her brings up new guilt and the silent confirmation that she will be stuck with desk duty for at least a month.

It is not surprising but still really disappointing when the briefing switches to news about the latest terrorist organization. Apparently, a new letter from the Dawn of Eve as arrived and Toni would love nothing more than to figure out the meaning behind the riddle but as soon as Regan gets head of the operation, she knows she will not be asked to help.

Regan who according to Taylor-Clayton is the best agent the bureau has seen in a long time; Regan who is smart, calm and collected, immediately saw through Toni’s tough-guy façade and kissed her while Toni was still stuck in the gay panicking phase of seeing her. Regan, who made Toni realize that she is so much to deal with that even the best FBI agent has to get away from her, no matter how much they love each other.

Yeah, that Regan is not going to ask her for help on her first operation as the leading agent.

  


***

  


Desk duty is fucking boring. Toni is going through paperwork all day and it is not even taking up a fifth of her brain capacity, which does not help with her build up frustration about this situation at all. After two days stuck in this hell and secretly getting a copy of the Dawn of Eve letter, Toni figured out that the terrorists next attack will take place at the Miss USA beauty pageant. It makes Toni a little less angry about not being a part of the investigation team. Not that she wants any attack to happen but the thought of having to deal with people who think it is a fantastic idea to hold pageants in the 21st century make Toni want to throw up. Sure, there is nothing more feminist than putting young women in bikini’s and letting them walk around the stage and wave at creepy old men. Yeah right.

While Toni is really fucking proud that she figured it out, it still takes her 5 minutes to build up the courage and tell Regan about it. Five minutes too long as it seems. By the time Toni makes it to Regan’s new office, she hears her reading the intelligence report to her selected team.

She really is not going to be any help to this operation at all.

  


***

  


Regan wants to send someone in on the inside. An undercover mission at a fucking beauty pageant. Toni is going through all of the agents that could potentially stand a chance at believably acting like a beauty queen and she has to stop herself from laughing like a maniac while staring at the paperwork she is supposed to go through. For a brief second, she wonders if Regan is going to do it herself and lets herself get carried away in thoughts of her ex at a bikini competition. It makes her feel a lot of things, most of which scare her so she just settles on amusement – because Regan participating in a beauty pageant is fucking ridiculous and could only be beaten by Toni being forced into a long evening gown wishing for world peace - with a healthy dose of sexual frustration because she can at least be a bit honest with herself. It has been a while and she gets a lot of crap for it from her co-workers, especially since Regan very obviously started dating again. But what the hell, Toni is the job and if that means that she does not date a lot or does not have any friends that are not also co-workers, then so be it. Relationships… who needs them anyway. People are always going to disappoint her, just as much as she disappoints them.

  


***

  


Turns out, Regan wants _her_ on the inside. Toni’s third workday stuck at the desk is coming to an end and she cannot wait to finally get home and beat the shit out of the boxing bag that hangs from the middle of her bedroom ceiling. Regan is coming her way but it has been so long since only the two of them have had a conversation that Toni does not even consider that she wants to talk to her. Well, what a gigantic misassumption that was.

“Hey Toni,” Regan says standing in front of her desk.

Maybe it is the mischievous way Regan is smiling at her right now, or that Toni _accidentally_ overheard a brainstorming session earlier today where her team was talking about potential candidates for going undercover.

“No fucking way.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Regan answers and her smile is downright mocking her now.

“I’m not doing it, Regan, get someone else.”

“And here I thought you’d be more excited to go on a date with me.”

Toni just glares at her before acting as if she cares about the files in front of her.

“Seriously Toni? We went through all the options and everyone thinks you’re the best for the job.”

Toni just snorts at that.

“What could possibly make you think it’s a great idea for the lesbian with anger issues to go undercover at a fucking Miss USA pageant?”

“All of us know how competent you are, Toni. And you know, maybe just take it as a compliment that a lot of people think you’re pretty enough for it to be convincing.”

“Yeah no, I pass. Find someone else to act like your spineless puppet.”

“Toni”

“No, Regan”, she interrupts her but Regan’s hands on top of the files in front of her make her look up at her ex-girlfriend.

“Toni, this is the only way you will not be stuck at desk duty for at least another month. You and I both know how much you hate this. Are you really willing to throw away the opportunity to not only get out on the field again but also proof to Clayton that you are perfectly able to do this?”

Toni keeps staring at Regan and it is clear to both of them that there is not a lot missing to get convince her.

“You know, when you do well you might actually get your own op soon.”

Well, _fuck_.

“Guess I’ll better start wishing for world peace then.”

  


***

  


The meeting with Gretchen Klein is… something. Toni’s first impression of her takes her back to some of her foster mothers, who only took her in for the good press that comes along with “caring” for a troubled res kid. It is the lack of genuine concern on her face when they tell her about the planned attack by the Dawn of Eve that makes Toni first question her good intentions.

“Therefore, we’d like to put one of our team into the pageant as an undercover agent.”

“Am I hearing this correctly?”

“Gretchen, the people want to put one of their agents in the pageant.” Daniel Faber, who is going to be the host of all stage events, repeats, mostly to himself.

“You want her to win?” Gretchen asks, with a raised chin and obviously offended by the idea.

“Oh no, we just need your help with the judging, to make sure our agent makes it to the top five so she’ll have access to all areas at all times.” Regan explains in a calm voice and while it surely is not the most comfortable to work together with your ex, Toni is glad that she is around to do the talking.

“Absolutely not.” Gretchen replies quickly and Toni scoffs, which earns her a stern look from Gretchen and a kick under the table from Regan. Looking at her colleague, it is clear that she wants Toni to at least try and play along.

“We understand how important this beauty pageant-“ Toni starts in the nicest way possible for her.

“Excuse me” Gretchen interrupts her and it takes a lot for Toni to not scowl at her again. “This is not a beauty pageant. This is a scholarship program.” Gretchen stands up and towers over Toni which does not help at all with the whole trying to stay calm and reasonable thing.

“And it has been ever since my reign. I fully intend on maintaining that credo.”

Toni is losing her patience and she knows she is on thin ice when she stands up and meets Gretchen’s eyes.

“Then I am sure there’s nothing more important to you than the safety of your contestants.”

They stare at each other and Toni definitely will not be able to shake off her weird feelings about Gretchen Klein after she sees the slow smile creep across her face before she sits down and folds her hands in her lap.

“Well, of course, I’d rather cancel the pageant than have one of them blown up.” She says, still with that unsettling smile on her face.

“Especially without their knowledge.” Adds Faber and it might as well be one of the stupidest things Toni has ever heard a man say.

“I am confused, though.” He continues.

 _I am not surprised_ , Toni wants to say but keeps it to herself for the sake of the mission.

“Which state is she going to be from? All the winners have already been chosen.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. The contestant from Washington is going to let you know soon that she has been accepted at Oxford and rather spend her time studying there.” Toni knows the underlying comment of _instead of your stupid pageant_ comes across when she sees Gretchen’s disapproving look. Riling her up is turning out to be a little too entertaining considering she has to cooperate with her.

“Very well, and I am assuming you are going to be the undercover agent?” Gretchen looks at Regan who looks taken aback for a second.

Toni presses her lips together to suppress her smile.

“Oh no, I’m the leading agent on the mission. Agent Shalifoe is going to be in the pageant.”

Both organizers’ eyebrows shoot up before a frown settles on Gretchen’s face.

“Well, I simply cannot wait to see how this turns out.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Toni meets more of her team and some of the other contestants.

The FBI puts together a team that is supposed to turn Toni into a believable beauty queen in less than 48 hours. The process is a rollercoaster of emotions. Regan informs her of all the measures that are to be taken to beautify Toni and it sounds like a nightmare, involving the removal of hair and application of makeup.

Then she meets the head of the team.

Dorothy Campbell (“For fucks sake please call me Dot.”) somehow manages to look gayer and less like a pageant queen than Toni does, with cargo shorts (“I like and need the storage, okay? They’re insanely practical in this business and I would rather die than wear a fanny bag.”) and a Black Sabbath shirt (“It was my dad’s favorite band and it’s great music.”). Toni does not doubt for a second that they will get along just fine.

That is until Dot starts criticizing _everything_ about Toni. The way she walks, talks, sits and even fucking _breathes_. At least the way she does it, Toni can handle. Every comment is laced with sarcasm, and while it sucks to be watched like a hawk for the smallest mishaps, Dot has a way to not make _her_ feel like shit for it and rather the judges who put these ridiculous expectations on all the contestants.

After 15 hours of excruciating pain, Toni is hairless and 10 people have put about 100 different types of beauty products on her.

“Feel like a brand new woman yet?” Regan asks her with a smirk.

“More like a plucked chicken.” Toni grumbles into her ninth coffee of the day… night, she’s not so sure anymore. She has been stuck inside this old bunker like building for way too long to still understand the concept of time.

“Well if it makes you feel any better, you do look hot.”

Toni is getting flashbacks from the pre-dating phase of their relationship. It is very unexpected and she probably should not interpret too much into it but plays along anyway.

“It would if I didn’t know you used to think the exact same thing back when I was wearing my old basketball uniform and sweatpants. Or, you know, nothing at all while I was in your bed.”

Now Toni’s the one smirking as Regan very obviously and unashamedly checks her out, with a slight blush on her cheeks.

“Mhm,” she hums and bits her lower lip, “that look suited you really well.”

It is the closest they have gotten to openly flirting with each other since their break up and Toni hates how she can feel her heart rate rising.If it were not for the five layers of make-up and fake blush on her face, Regan would probably see a very real one underneath.

“Okay Shalifoe, ready to learn how to walk in these bad boys?” Dot shows up out of nowhere and shoves a pair of ridiculously high heels into her hands.

Regan starts laughing loudly and it is obvious that she cannot wait to see Toni’s disastrous performance.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” She mumbles under her breath and gets ready to break her ankles.

***

Turns out that the beautifying process was _nothing_ compared to the “prepping Toni to actually _act_ the way she looks now” process. The high heels make her feet hurt like hell and she _glides_ over the make-shift stage alright, the only problem being that instead of her feet, it is her face doing all of the gliding. Regan nearly passes out from laughing too hard and _of course_ , she has to take a fucking video of it. She only sends it to Marcus, claiming he deserved to see her like that after she nearly got him killed and well, Toni cannot really argue with that. Still, she spends a good amount of time thinking of ways to get back at Regan before she remembers that there are lives in danger and even though she feels absolutely ridiculous right now, she still needs to take it seriously.

Right before her flight to San Antonio, Texas is scheduled to take off, Toni manages to get a hang of the walking and sitting like a lady thing. At least to a point where Dot is satisfied with it. Apparently, they can take care of the talking part on the plane.

“Okay, but when do I get to sleep.” Toni asks naively.

“Never.” Dot answers immediately and Toni first thinks she is joking.

Unfortunately, she was not. Toni spends all of the flight watching videos of former competitions, going through flashcards of the last winners and her new identity.

“Antonia _Freebush_?!” Toni stares at her new ID “Regan, why do you hate me?”

Regan laughs. “I nearly went for Antoinette, so really, you should thank me, don’t you think.”

Toni glares at her and it does not help that she can hear all of her colleagues snickering around her.

“You definitely look like an Antonia, but let’s make sure that you also talk like one, yeah?” Dot sits down next to Toni in an entirely ungraceful manner, while Toni has to keep her legs crossed, back straight and hands neatly folded in her lap.

Rude.

The prospect of having longer than small-talk conversations with any of the other contestants is probably the part that worries her the most, so she swallows her pride and takes in every bit of advice that Dot has to give to her. Which turns out to… not be that much advise at all.

“Just be a nicer version of yourself, smile more,” Toni opens her mouth to protest but Dot just holds her hand up, “yeah, I know how that sounds but what makes everything about your appearance very unbelievable right now is that you look like you could kill a puppy and that’s really not what we should be going for.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Dot. Toni’s all bark and no bite. As soon as she sees a pretty girl, she’s gonna turn into a big softie.” Regan adds to the conversation with the biggest grin on her face, looks at Toni and fucking _winks_.

_Rude._

“Well, that’s comforting to know. Hope you’ll still be able to concentrate. With all those beautiful women around.” Dot joins in on the “let’s make fun of Toni’s situation” train and earns a high five from Regan.

“Please, like I’d be interested in straight women who only talk about Jesus, makeup and the latest Kardashian gossip.” Toni huffs out and shrinks a bit into her seat.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about the straight part. The competition has gotten a lot more progressive and diverse. Actually, one of my friends won in Nevada this year, so she’ll be there and she is everything but straight.”

Toni looks at Dot with a raised eyebrow.

“Friends with benefits.” Dot adds to the explanation.

“She’s the reason you know so much about this shit?” Toni asks and Dot nods.

“Mostly, yeah. And I guess I used to have a similar standpoint on the whole thing as you do. Best way to win an argument though is excessive research of the other party. It didn’t turn out to be as bad as I assumed and I guess a lot of that just stuck with me.”

It makes more sense than Toni would like to admit.

“Speaking of my her, it’s probably easiest for you if you just hang out with her. Her name’s Fatin Jadmani and I’m sure you’ll get along great. The whole reason she started doing pageants was to piss off her dad, so she has a similar zero fucks given policy about the competition.”

“Thanks but I think I’ll keep the socializing to a minimum. I don’t really do friendships and the last thing I want to happen is anyone getting attached to a fake personality.”

Dot just shrugs with her shoulders.

“Suit yourself. But still, watch out for Fatin. She’s good at seeing through other people’s bullshit.”

***

It is when Gretchen just stares at her and blinks a couple of times before breaking out in her signature creepy smile that Toni realizes Dot must have done a pretty great job in terms of making her look like a pageant princess.

“Miss Shalifoe, or rather Miss Freebush, I suppose. You look stunning. Great job, Dorothy!”

Dot just nods in response and Toni can tell she likes Gretchen as little as she does.

“Well, I guess it is time for you to meet the other girls. Come along, you’re right on time for the introduction breakfast.”

Gretchen practically shoos her to the bus highly decorated in pastel colors and flowers. Toni is getting close to a sensory overload just by looking at it from a distance.

She gets in line with the other girls to board the bus and cannot help but notice that Dot was right, the crowd of women is more diverse than she expected. Or at least that is what it looks like. No guarantee that just because they do not look like them at first glance, they will not turn out to be a bunch of basic bitches anyways.

The guy responsible for making sure all contestants are present is very clearly not only checking their names off on a list but also checking them out in the most disgusting way possible. He gets way too close to the girls and does not even try to hide that he looks more at their boobs than anywhere else. There is too much chatter around and Toni is not close enough to hear what he has to say to some of them but she takes a wild guess that it is nothing appropriate for a “feminist scholarship program”.

There is a blond girl he seems to be particularly interested in. He keeps talking to her for way longer than needed and even starts touching her lower back. The girl visibly stiffens but the dickhead does not care and keeps his hand on her. Instead of scolding, or better, fucking punching him in the face like he would deserve, the contestant just smiles and enters the bus.

He is less touchy but no less invasive with the other girls in front of her so by the time it is Toni’s turn to stand in front of him, she has to keep herself from scowling at him.

“Miss Washington, how very nice to meet you.” He says with a bright smile and Toni’s fist is itching to connect with his face.

“Likewise.” She says with a tight-lipped smile.

Punching him is only going to get her in trouble and the asshole does not seem worth it. She is not going to screw up this mission before it has properly begun.

“I cannot wait to see more of you.” His eyes roam over her whole body and she can feel her fists shaking a little bit now.

Not. Worth. The. Trouble.

Toni steps forward to enter the bus and _accidentally_ slips on the first step. The douchbag yells out in pain as the very pointy heel of Toni’s shoes rams into his foot.

Who says Toni’s feet are the only ones that have to hurt because of this?

“You bitch!” He exclaims as he is still bent over balancing his weight on the foot Toni spared.

“Andrew!” Gretchen scolds from inside the bus. “I forbid you to use this kind of language when referring to my girls!”

“Yeah, you really hurt my feelings here.” Toni adds with a grin before stepping onto the bus.

Most of the seats are already taken since Toni was one of the last to arrive. She is a bit uncomfortable walking towards the back of the bus with all the other women staring at her. There are some whispers and weird looks thrown her way and Toni wonders if it is because nobody in this industry has ever seen her before of if she still, even after 48 hours of preparations, looks like she does not belong here.

Probably both.

“Oh, hey! Washington? This one’s empty.” The blond girl that asshole Andrew seemed to most interested in says to her and Toni would have not even needed the big letters spelling “Texas” on her ribbon to figure out where she is from with that southern drawl she has got going on.

“Thanks” Toni answers, reserved but as honest as she can manage.

Here it goes, first actual conversation with an outsider. Finger’s crossed she does not immediately blow her cover.

“I’m Shelby Goodkind from Texas.” She hands out her hand with a bright smile on her face.

Way too friendly to not be fake.

Toni takes the hand and shakes it. “I’m-“ she starts but is immediately interrupted.

“Antonia Freebush. I memorized the orientation pamphlet. I know all ladies by name _and_ picture. Yours wasn’t there, so I knew it was you from your lack of picture.”

Toni just stares at her with her mouth slightly open. That is a lot of dedication for a beauty pageant.

“That’s… impressive.” She is trying really hard not to sound too negative. „But… just Toni, please.”

Shelby is still acting nice and she is not here to make enemies. Or make any more than she might already have.

“Okay, just Toni.” She says, bright smile still in place. “I just think it’s so important that we all get along real well. I’ve been doin’ these competitions since I was a child and they’re just so much more fun when you make some friends along the way!”

Toni thinks she might have had the wrong idea about this competition. She had always thought there would be more bitching between the women.

But this is the first meeting after all. The rivalries will probably start soon enough.

“Damn, where did you come from? Straight out of a youth counsellor prep meeting or something?” Another contestant behind you chimes in.

Shelby turns around to her quickly and gives her a bright smile, turning into a short laugh.

Yeah, definitely fake.

“Actually, I am a youth counsellor!” Shelby exclaims either ignoring or not getting the sarcasm in the other woman’s statement.

“Hi there, I’m Shelby from Texas!” Just like she did with Toni, she offers her hand to the girl. “You must be Fatin Jadmani.”

Toni raises her eyebrow at the familiar name and subtly takes a closer look at the girl. She can see why Dot thought they might get along well. She gives off major “yeah, I don’t really give a shit” vibes, especially compared to Shelby.

Fatin looks at her with wide eyes, clearly freaked out by Shelby’s knowledge about her.

“Gee, what’s your deal?”

“Well, that’s an easy one.” Shelby starts apparently still deaf to the mildly derogatory tone. “I do real, I do family, I do Jesus.”

Toni scoffs at all three of those statements, especially when Shelby points her fingers upwards to the sky at the Jesus part. The two of them could really not be any more different from each other.

“So what about you?” Shelby asks and looks between Toni and Fatin, obviously expecting an equally enthusiastic answer.

Toni stares back at her, panic forming in her chest. Suddenly forgetting all of the personality she made up a couple hours ago on a plane to this hellhole in Texas.

“I do pageants.” She says and immediately hates herself.

Something about the way she says it must convey that she is joking. Shelby starts laughing way too loudly and even Fatin just grins and rolls her eyes.

Thank fuck.

“Well duh!” Shelby says between laughter. “So you’re one of the more secretive ones, huh?” She nudges Toni’s shoulder with her elbow and winks at her. “But don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll get you to open up.”

What the hell?

Maybe Toni was more than a bit wrong about everyone here being straight.

“So what about you?” Shelby asks Fatin, who just looks between Toni and Shelby as if she knows something they do not.

It would make Toni freak out significantly more if she were not sure the reason for those looks is more rooted in the mildly contradicting vibes coming off of Shelby right now.

She stares at Shelby for a long moment before breaking out in a smile that makes Toni understand how she won the pageant in Nevada.

“I do men.”

The delivery is so dry it makes Toni laugh, genuinely laugh, for the first time since this whole mess has started. That is until Fatin looks back at Toni, obviously checks her out for a second before saying: “Well, mostly.”

Toni’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. The possibility of anyone at this pageant being interested in her was truly the last thing on her mind and here she is being flirted with by the first two girls she talks to. She cannot wait for the first briefing with Regan, who can hear every single word of this conversation thanks to Toni being mic-ed up to a maximum.

Yeah, that is going to be a fun one.

When Toni looks over to Shelby again, she sees her smile falter a little bit before she breaks out in her loud and now definitely more fake-sounding laughter.

“Oh, I can already tell, we’re gonna have a darn great time together.”

“Oh, I’m sure we will.” Fatin grins and Toni manages a tight-lipped smile.

“Okay Ladies! Everyone’s on board and we are ready to go!” Gretchen exclaims from the front of the bus as the doors shut close and the driver starts the engine.

“How about a little song for the drive. I think you all know the one I mean.”

Toni has no idea what is happening when Gretchen gives the signal to start the song and everyone around her starts singing. Shelby, undoubtedly the loudest and even Fatin chimes in, though with a voice filled with sarcasm.

_From sea to shining sea_

_Like Lady Liberty_

_She reigns over all she sees_

_She’s beauty and she’s grace_

_She’s Miss United States._

This is going to be a strange week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of the chapter.
> 
> Also a question: do you prefer longer, fewer chapters or multiple shorter ones? Obviously, I'd be able to post more often with shorter chapters but I think it would make the pacing of the story slower. In my original plan for this, this chapter was supposed to include the introductions of all girls and more Toni&Shelby but it turned out longer than I expected so I thought I'd post it already.  
> Anyway, would appreciate some feedback on it! I don't think I have any preference for it as of now.
> 
> Hope you have a nice day!  
> @JenIsWriting on Twitter and @jenchase on Tumblr if you wanna yell at me there


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Toni meets more contestants and also gets to know Shelby a bit better.

Toni is actually looking forward to breakfast. The last 48 hours have been so stressful, she barely had the time to eat anything, so she gladly follows Fatin and Shelby into the big dining hall. There are white table cloths on the many large round tables and the dishes look more expansive than some of Toni’s work equipment. At the far end of the room is a stage with a small podium and a large white banner that says “Welcome Ladies!” in large pink letters. Gretchen and Daniel are talking next to the podium as the contestants start sitting down. Andrew welcomes them all again at the entrance but seems more reserved now, throwing Toni a dirty look as she passes him.

Fatin, Shelby and Toni sit down at the same table with three other girls she briefly noticed at the bus.

“Hi there, I’m Shelby from Texas! And I just want y’all to know it’s such an honor to welcome y’all in my beautiful home state for this pageant.”

It is the third time Toni has heard Shelby introduce herself now and it really does not get any more authentic. The faked kindness behind her words is starting to get to her.

“And these” Shelby stands between Toni and Fatin and lays their arms around both of their shoulders “are Fatin from Nevada and Toni from Washington!” She hugs them both closer as she introduces them.

“ _ Great to see you’re already making friends, Toni.” _ She hears Regan’s voice over the earpiece subtly hiding behind the curtain of hair that falls over her right ear.

She knows Regan is teasing her but cannot help to listen for a hint of jealousy in her words.

“Hi! I’m Martha from Minnesota! It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve been following you on Instagram for a while now and your humanitarian work is so inspiring!” Martha says to Shelby as the blonde girl sits down next to her.

Toni has to cringe and cannot help but get a little mad at the girl for falling for Shelby’s white savior shit.

“Oh! Thank you so much! I’m just so grateful God put me in a position where I can spend my time helping others.”

Toni rolls her eyes so badly, for a second she thinks they might pop out of her skull.

“This is your first pageant, right?” Shelby asks and Martha nods shyly.

Okay, the knowledge she has about everyone in this competition is starting to freak Toni out. This could very well be something to get her into trouble.

“I’m sure you’re going to be great! Has anyone ever told you that you have the must drop gorgeous eyes?”

Martha just blushes and averts her gaze.

“Now, what about the rest?” Shelby looks around the table. “Ahh! No, wait! Let me see if I’ve got it!” She says quickly as the first girl was just about to speak up.

“Leah Rilke from California and Rachel Reid from New York!” She stares at them expectantly with her signature smile. “Am I right?”

The two girls just nod, clearly as irritated by Shelby’s knowledge as the rest of them.

“I just cannot wait to get to know y’all better!”

Shelby finally sits down and immediately grabs a bagel from the middle of the table.

Toni’s grumbling stomach takes her out of the sensory overload that is watching Shelby Goodkind, and she too takes a bagel. She is two bites in the first solid food she has eating in what probably was a day when she notices Shelby has her hands folded at her chest, silently praying.

Toni is trying not to stare too obviously. She finds Shelby’s whole religion thing endlessly annoying but at least she does not force anyone into praying with her.

Toni takes another bite out of her bagel when Gretchen moves to the podium and takes the microphone.

“Welcome ladies!” Gretchen begins to speak and the women around Toni start applauding.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!”

The room grows quiet again and everyone is paying close attention to Gretchen. In a very short moment of silence, Toni realizes that her earpiece is quietly humming. She subtlety taps against it, hoping to fix whatever is wrong with it. Maybe an idiot at headquarters forgot to turn off the microphone after Regan talked to her.

“For the past years, it has been my honor to serve as director of this pageant. And I know that this year will be our most exciting event ever!”

The contestants clap again and Gretchen’s eyes meet Toni’s for a second.

Weird.

She proceeds after the room grows quiet again.

“After the rehearsal and a photoshoot, you can settle into your rooms. Tomorrow we will begin the preliminaries hosted by our master of ceremonies,” Gretchen waves her hand in the direction of Daniel Faber, who steps up onto the stage next to her. “an American institution! Daniel Faber!”

The room breaks out in applause again as Faber steps up to the podium.

“Thank you, Gretchen!”

The humming from Toni’s earpiece is getting louder and to a point where it is actively distracting her. What the fuck are her colleagues doing?

“Isn’t she ravishing?” Faber points at Gretchen, who gives him a bright smile in return. “How does she do it? I look in the mirror and say, “who is that old man staring back at me?”” 

The room erupts in laughter and Toni has to roll her eyes. The guy is not even scratching fifty, what he hell is he talking about?

“And although I will be retiring this year” There are some commiserating oh’s coming from the audience, “oh no, don’t cry for me… Alabama.”

“Oh that’s so sad, he’s retiring.” Shelby comments silently, while the rest of the room is busy fake laughing at his bad joke.

“Are you kidding me? Why would he retire in his mid-forties?” The winner from California, Leah, questions.

“Oh, he’s not.” Fatin adds, her tone and posture telling that she is about to and very proud to spill the tea. “I spoke to him this morning and he blurted it out. They’re firing him, going for someone newer and more attractive.”

“Oh, I hope it’s Tony Romo!” Shelby exclaims, compassion for the soon to be replaced host seemingly forgotten.

So much for that good Christian behavior.

“What would an American Football player do at a Miss USA pageant?” Rachel asks dismissively and Toni has to agree, the idea is ridiculous.

“I think the question should rather be, what would I let him do to me.” Fatin adds and it makes Toni laugh, while the rest of the girls just roll their eyes.

Just as the room goes quiet again, the speaker in Toni’s ear makes the most obnoxious and loudest noise.

“Jesus Christ!” She yells out in surprise and pain, as she nearly falls from the chair.

Every single pair of eyes is staring at her.

Fuck.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I just…” Toni's eyes look around the room and she catches Shelby’s worried look for a second. “I just realized that I had a bite of my bagel and forgot to pray.”

Toni sits down straighter in her chair, closes her eyes and folds her hands in front of her chest.

“Dear Jesus, please forgive me for not praying before I had a bite of my bagel and schmeer. Thank you very much.” Toni pauses for a second. “Amen.”

The whole performance is shit and Toni knows it. She hesitates a moment before opening her eyes again and facing the reality of her embarrassing situation.

Daniel looks like a confused puppy while Gretchen just stares at her with disapproval.

Whatever.

Toni is shocked to notice that girls at other tables started folding their hands in prayer, too and if it were not for every contestant at her own table staring at her, she would probably be more irritated by that.

Martha is just as confused as Faber though the look suits her better than him. Leah looks at her suspiciously and Toni only meets her eyes for a very brief second. Shelby, for the first time since she has met her, is not smiling. Her face gives off a mixture of hurt and anger, and Toni does feel a little bad for it. I probably looked like she was making fun of her and while Shelby’s obsession with religious is definitely ridiculous, it is hers and who is Toni to judge her for that.

Fatin and Rachel are the first to break the silence by breaking down in laughter, which probably just confirms to Shelby that Toni is making fun of her.

But it is not like she had any other choice with FBI agents blowing up her fucking eardrums.

Whatever, Toni’s not here to make friends anyway.

Toni keeps glancing at Shelby for the rest of breakfast to figure out if this is something she is going to be mad about for the long term, but she is back to all smiles and positive energy in no time.

***

Turns out Dot’s pageant training is  _ nothing _ compared to the torture of real pageant rehearsals. The photoshoot makes Toni insanely uncomfortable. Everyone gets their picture taken at the same time so the other contestants are around to watch Toni fail at posing for the camera. The photographer is pushy about Toni giving him a  _ real _ smile and none of that smiling with your lips tightly pressed together. Eventually, she gives in but is fairly certain she looks like someone brainwashed by the Dai Li or something like that.

The photoshoot is nothing compared to the dance rehearsal though.

“Why the fuck do we have to dance?” Toni makes the mistake and asks that question out loud while standing next to Leah, watching their instructor go through the choreography.

Miss California just looks at her puzzled.

“You act like you have no idea what is going on here.” She notes and makes Toni nervous.

“I just don’t like dancing all that much.” Toni quickly explains. “I’m known to complain. Get used to it.”

That seems to satisfy Leah for now, and Toni takes a deep breath full of relief as she turns her attention back to the instructor.

Toni tries her best to keep up with the other but it is painfully obvious to everyone that Leah was right, and she looks like she has no idea what is going on. It does not help that Regan occasionally comments on Toni’s performances.

She really thinks it cannot get any worse than faceplanting in front of everyone after a particularly miserable twirl but then she is being paired off with Shelby out of all people.

They are supposed to rehearse the “gracefully walking down the rounded staircase” part which is going to take place at the very beginning of the final show.

Of course, Toni has to walk on the inner part of the staircase where there is practically no fucking stare left to even step on and  _ of course _ , she has to slip and  _ of course _ , Shelby has to have some sort of freakish ninja reflexes to catch Toni before she can fall down the whole staircase. And maybe, but just  _ maybe _ , Toni holds onto her for dear life cause, fuck, this is a long staircase and she really did just see her life flash by her in front of her eyes.

But just maybe.

“Woah, there” Shelby exclaims and she holds onto Toni even though she is standing on her own again.

Or maybe it is Toni who is still holding onto Shelby.

Whatever.

“You okay?” She asks and actually sounds concerned.

They are standing really close together and this might as well be the first time Toni has actually looked at Shelby’s face up close. Her brain short-circuits a bit because, fuck, Shelby is like, objectively really fucking beautiful. Like how on earth does a face end up being so symmetrical?

Toni does not say anything and Shelby also just stares back at her. She does not realize just how long they remain in this position until she hears Regan’s voice in her ear.

“ _ Jesus Christ, Toni, get your shit together. It’s barely been half a day, and you’re already falling for a straight girl. Literally. _ ”

They take a moment to switch the microphone back to mute so Toni hears the snickering of her colleagues in the background before the earpiece goes silent again.

She is not proud of it but pushes Shelby off of her quickly before straightening out her dress.

“I’m fine.” She says shortly.

Shelby looks like she just got a bit of a whiplash and to be honest, Toni knows there probably is no reasonable explanation for her behavior. She really needs to get her shit together.

“Gee, okay. Just wanted to make sure.” Shelby says and takes a step back to get some distance between herself and Toni.

“You know, I really don’t get what I did to get this hot ’n cold treatment from you.” Shelby starts as they proceed to walk down the stairs and Toni knows she is in trouble. “First we get along real well on the bus but then it felt like you made fun of me at breakfast, and now it seems like my touch is burning you, or somethin’.”

Shelby looks really bothered by the whole situation and Toni feels bad again. Shelby has a point and Toni has no explanation that does not involve her blowing her cover. She is pretty sure “not wanting a pretty girl to feel bad” does not count as an emergency situation in which it would be reasonable to inform her about the situation.

“I wasn’t making fun of you.” Is the best thing Toni comes up with and she knows it is entirely unbelievable.

Shelby just confirms that with the looks she throws her.

“Seriously… I’m sorry. It really wasn’t my intention.” Shelby still does not look convinced but her frown seems to lessen a bit.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I think this whole situation is just a bit more stressful than I imagined.”

Toni really does not know what has gotten into her. Why the hell does she care so much about how she made Shelby feel? Yes, technically the girl has been nothing but nice to her since they met but it is a fake kind of nice and Toni knows she is going to drop the act as soon as the competition is going to get more serious.

But fuck, she has also been flirting with her, or at least Toni is pretty sure it was flirting because the looks and touches have been a bit too long to be considered friendly and…

It is probably just in Toni’s head because it  _ has _ been a while, she is completely sleep deprived, not to mention, very fucking gay, and Shelby is beautiful.

She  _ really _ needs to get her shit together.

Shelby takes a moment to process Toni’s bad excuse but it could have not been too bad since she nods and gives Toni her pageant winning smile.

“I get that. The Miss USA pageant is way more intense than the state-level ones. Apology accepted.”

Well, at least that is something.

“ _ Toni Shalifoe bonding with the local Christian. Never thought I’d see the day. _ ” Regan says into her ear.

Toni just keeps smiling at Shelby while she tries to suppress the strong urge to kill her ex.

***

Toni ends up sharing a room with Rachel, who also ends up to be the first one to treat Toni like a fellow competitor and not a friend. They barely talk as they unpack and Rachel gets ready for bed right after. She lays on her back with headphones over her ears and she is so still, Toni wonders if she is still breathing.

Toni is going through some of the contestants Instagram accounts and gets stuck on Shelby’s. The girl has a shit ton of pictures posted, most of them somehow connected to her good Christian image that has been on display for the whole day. A soft knock at her door pulls Toni out of her stalker mode. Reluctantly, she gets up from her bed and opens a door to Shelby Goodkind’s bright smile that she has been staring at digitally for the last 15 minutes. She is holding a Thermo bottle and two mugs in her hand.

“Hi there!” She greets Toni with her signature Texan accent. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Oh no, I was just on my phone.” Toni replies quickly.

“I made some of my famous hot chocolate.” She explains and wiggles the bottle in her hand.

“Ehh,” Toni looks behind her to see that Rachel has not moved an inch. “My roommate’s already sleeping but do you want to come it.”

Toni did not think it possible but Shelby’s smile widened as she steps past Toni and hops onto her bed. Toni follows her, though not nearly as enthusiastic as Shelby.

She watches the Texan as she carefully fills the mugs she brought.

“So to what do I owe the pleasure?” Toni asks, eyeing the only two mugs.

“Oh! I just thought, you know, you were tellin’ me earlier that this has all been stressful, so I thought, maybe this’ll make you relax a bit.” Shelby explains and if the lights in the room were not so dim, Toni might actually see a blush on her face.

“Oh, that’s nice.”

Toni is glad that she is not wearing her earpiece right now, or she is sure she would never hear the end of it from Regan and the others.

Not really knowing how to handle Shelby’s kindness, she continues.

“This isn’t poisoned, right? You’re not trying to get rid of the competition?”

Shelby starts giggling at that, careful not to be too loud and wake up Rachel.

“No, silly, of course not. Though I do have to say that I have a strong feeling you’re gonna win.”

Toni snorts at that before remembering that she should be thrilled about hearing something like that.

“Thank you, but I’m pretty sure you got the better chances. I mean, have you looked at yourself?”

Shelby looks down and she is definitely blushing now.

“Thanks.” She puts a strand of hair behind her ear and looks back up to Toni. “But it’s about way more than looks nowadays. They wanna see people who are passionate and… and authentic and self-assured.”

“And you are not?” Toni asks curiously, actually interested in what the other girl has to say, while continuously sipping at the hot chocolate.

“I don’t think so.”

“But you believed in yourself to have gotten this far, right?”

“I know, I know but like…” She looks at Toni, seemingly unsure if she should continue. “I feel like so many people have these expectations when they see me, you know? That their mind’s already made up before they really talk to me. And I just can’t seem to break out of that image, it just… feels safer.”

“Well, not gonna lie but I thought you were going to be the most annoying one here and turns out I was wrong about that.” Toni says and seeing Shelby’s eyebrows raise makes her realize what that just sounded like.

“Sorry, I didn’t phrase that well. All I’m trying to say is that I was pretty sure we wouldn’t get along at all and here we are. Seems like you broke out of that image in my head all.”

“You’re not saying that to make me feel better?” Shelby asks hesitantly.

“I’m not really known for doing that.”

Shelby looks down and her half-empty mug and nods to herself.

“You don’t seem convinced.” Toni states simply.

“No, no, I believe you, it’s just… sometimes I just wish I were better at doing things my way, you know? I mean, I can’t even stand up for myself enough to sing a song I’d like to sing for my talent. And you… you stood up to  _ Andrew _ before the day even started.”

Toni looks at her puzzled.

“I saw how you stepped on his foot.” The blonde explains.

“That was an accident.”

“We both know it wasn’t.” Shelby gives her a timid smile which makes Toni grin.

“No, it wasn’t. Can’t have assholes like that acting that way in the 21st century.”

“See, this is what I’m talkin’ about. You just stood up to him like that, not terrified of the consequences. I just wish I could be even half as brave as you.”

“Hey, apparently you sing songs you don’t even want to sing in front of a shit ton of people. Sounds pretty brave to me.”

“You’re real nice, too, you know that?” Shelby keeps smiling at her. “You’re definitely going to win.”

“Okay, that’s it!” Rachel says from her bed, ripping her headphones off. “Excuse me, I’m in the middle of a REM cycle over here.”

“Sorry!” Both Toni and Shelby say at the same time as they gather the now empty mugs and bottle and scramble off the bed.

Toni grabs her keycard and accompanies Shelby to the door. She shuts it silently behind her.

“Thank you for the hot chocolate. It was really good.” Toni says quietly as the two of them stand close together in the empty hallway of the hotel.

“You’re welcome.”

“Why can’t you chose your own song to sing?” Toni asks, and Shelby’s smile drops.

“Oh, my daddy doesn’t like anything ostentatious, so he just likes to make sure anything I’ll perform is appropriate.”

“I see.” Toni answers with a frown.

She is getting the impression, appropriate probably means Shelby’s going to sing the current number one Christian anthem. Toni wonders what kind of songs the girl would rather sing.

“Thank you, by the way. For Andrew.”

Toni looks at her confused again.

“Like, I know you didn’t do it for me or anything, but it’s nice to know someone is keeping him in check.”

It warms her heart but at the same time ignites her hatred for the guy and everyone who allows him to make any women here feel unsafe again.

“You don’t have to thank me for that, Shelby.” Toni says earnestly.

Thinking of it, it is a little funny that it was Andrew’s behavior towards Shelby that really tipped her over, earlier. The blonde girl does not need to know that, though.

“And if he, or anyone else, ever makes you uncomfortable again, let me know.” She offers and hopes the other girl knows how serious she is about that.

It takes a moment but then Shelby is throwing her arms around Toni’s neck and hugs her tightly. Toni is too shocked to react for a moment, but when she comes to her senses again and Shelby still has not let go of her, she wraps her arms around her waist.

“Thank you so much.”

Toni’s chest tightens as Shelby still does not let got but buries her face in Toni’s neck. They remain like this for a moment and Toni can feel her heart going a little crazy. It is not how she expected her first night here to go, that is for sure.

Finally, Shelby draws back the hug and gives Toni an insecure smile.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked if you were okay with that. And sorry for kind of… unloading on you tonight. I really just wanted to make you feel a bit less stressed.”

“It’s cool, Shelby. Nothing to apologize for.” Toni answers in a heartbeat.

Shelby nods slightly and keeps looking at Toni for a moment.

“I should… probably go to bed. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“Good night, Toni.”

“Goodnight.”

Toni watches Shelby as she unlocks a door two rooms to her left. Shelby looks back at Toni and gives her a little wave before entering her room.

Toni stares at the closed door for another moment, before heading back into her own bed.

As she lays down, she smells the faint scent of hot chocolate and Shelby’s perfume and her heart begins to flutter.

Oh  _ fuck _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!  
> @JenIsWriting on Twitter and @Jenchase on Tumblr
> 
> Also a heads up, I have exams coming up for the rest of March so I don't know how much time I'll have for writing.  
> Knowing me, I'll probably end up distracting myself from studying with this though.

**Author's Note:**

> Ayy, thanks for reading! I'm going to try my best to update regularly, currently aiming for once a week.  
> Let me know what you think of it! Would love to hear from ya'll.  
> I'm @JenIsWriting on Twitter!  
> Hope you have a nice day!


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